


In Another Life

by caisha



Series: for it is not permitted that we stay [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Romance, star crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caisha/pseuds/caisha
Summary: Tears dripped onto her neck and smeared across her face as they held each other.He pulled away and looked at her, "In another life, things are going to work out for us."





	In Another Life

Kylo slid down to the floor, knees knocking against the marble; "Please, let her live. She doesn't deserve to die."

His voice quivered with emotion, knowing he couldn't keep it from his Master anyway and long past the point of caring about keeping it in check. He had spent years under his manipulations and fervor and for a time, Kylo had believed. He had believed with all of his heart - his sad, wounded, betrayed self believed that the universe was an unkind place that needed order. It needed truth and honor, not the corruption that came from politicians bickering across planets in some guise of good.

But then _she_ showed up - a faceless girl plaguing his dreams, leaving him restless and irritable - more so than normal. He had chased her across the galaxy, this faceless girl, until she wasn't faceless - or nameless.

Rey. Sun-kissed skin and a ferocity that he admired beyond anything he had seen before - she belonged to nothing, no political group or ruling family. She was just Rey, a scavenger from the backwater planet of Jakku, who saw injustice and wanted to help.

He thought she was wrong, at first - misguided - but as he knelt there begging Snoke for her life, he remembered it was _he_ who was wrong. About everything - except her.

"Traitors, murderers, terrorists - those are who she follows now, Kylo Ren. She will not turn, and when she is gone you will thank me for cutting out such a weakness."

Kylo screamed, a guttural noise that was octaves lower than his normal voice, as Snoke ransacked his mind, torturing him for the pleasure of it. He felt his mind take refuge in the small place hidden from Snoke, filled with fleeting moments from a bond they had never had time to figure out.

His hand touching hers, that moment they realized they could physically go to one another no matter where they were in the universe. The vulnerability she had shared as she talked about her parents, her life in Jakku. His, when he talked about Luke's betrayal - how he could never sleep soundly again because of it.

The nights when she was on the same cycle as he, and came to him, curling beside him on the bed. They hadn't meant to, at first, but she had fallen asleep once beside him as they talked - and the bond stayed open all night. Kylo hadn't slept at all, holding her close, hoping it would never fade and take her from him.

But since then, they came to each other almost every night. Just to sleep.

Kylo didn't have problems sleeping anymore.

The pain on the other side of his mind began tapering off and he opened his eyes, "Go, be ready for the execution at daybreak. The galaxy is waiting, and they want their pound of flesh."

He staggered to his feet and left without any other word, a despair building inside of him. Instead of to his quarters as expected, he made a detour to the prison sector where they were being held.

All of them were there - Dameron, FN-2187, Rose - but he only had time for one. _Her._ Rey.

The guards let him through without question, assuming he was here to question the prisoner - which wasn't out of the ordinary for the First Order interrogator.

"I'm not to be disturbed while I'm in there," he commanded, and they nodded. "And I want all surveillance off in her cell."

To their credit, their faces didn't change as they agreed again and flipped off the cameras and monitoring devices. The entry door opened and Kylo stepped through, removing his cape and gloves and placing them on the bench just inside.

The door closed behind him and the plastic separating her from the visitor's seating slid down and suddenly Rey was in his arms.

"Ben! Oh, what are you doing here? It's not safe." Her arms wrapped around his waist and he held her to his chest, burying his nose in her hair, squeezing as tightly as he dared. She thought he could save them, save her - but it was no use. He had failed in the one thing she had ever asked him to do and he knew he didn’t deserve a goodbye, to hold her in his arms one last time.

"I couldn't do it, he wouldn't allow it - I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough without you…" His words came out with a broken and heavy voice as she pulled them to sit on the small bed, hands gripping the others'. Their force powers were dampened in the cell due to some precious metal, but he didn't need it to feel her emotions. Sadness, grief, love.

Love he didn't deserve.

"It's alright, you tried. That's - that's so much more than we would have had without you." Her voice was soft, understanding, but still held that fire of conviction that he coveted so much. They had been captured on an infiltration mission as the Resistance were building a new base of operations; the entire leadership was being held on the Supremacy, awaiting execution to put an end to the war.

Kylo had known nothing of it, Hux operating the covert mission under Snoke's orders. When the bond flared open at her panic as they were fighting them off, Kylo found Hux and strangled him with the Force out of anger and despair. It hadn't helped anything, the mission was still a success, and now he had to explain Hux's death to the Supreme Leader.

But for now, Kylo marveled at the understanding in her eyes, the way her hands held his own. "You're too good for me, you don't deserve this - none of you do. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to take him down myself."

Rey smiled and hooked a piece of his hair behind his ear, "The balance will come, Ben. The Force has a plan, I feel it - I've seen it."

He nodded, knowing that she was blessed with Force visions sometimes - not always clear, but enough to let her know the will of the Force. Kylo often wondered if that's why she got close to him, because she knew something he didn't.

"Stop that, I know what you're thinking. What's between us is real, the Force connected us, but only for its own purposes. Our feelings are real, the Force cannot make us love each other."

He watched her face blush at that, her words firm, but still a bit uncomfortable with such open emotion. Kylo leaned down and kissed her lips gently and she responded immediately, head tilting as his mouth opened for her. This was still new to them, all the nights they spent together they had only wrapped each other up with their bodies and warmth. And for all their time, they had never spent any more moments together in the same place - Kylo realized as his tongue explored her mouth, that scent was something that never came through in the bond.

He liked the way she smelled, the way her hair inexplicably smelled like oranges and her clothes smelled like engine grease and ocean water somehow. Kylo pulled away slowly, peppering kisses on the corners of her lips.

"Your execution is set for tomorrow, only a few hours away." He breathed hard, anguished, knowing that the news was harder for her and trying to be strong.

"Will you stay with me? Until -" she swallowed heavily and he watched her steel herself, "Until they come for us?"

Kylo nodded, "Of course." He laid back onto her bed and drew her to him, their eyes roaming each other's face. "Snoke will be present, and me as well. I'll walk with you, if that's alright."

Rey ducked her head down, whispering into his neck, "Please."

 

* * *

 

An awkward cough woke him and Kylo saw the guard trying to discreetly wake them, "I'm sorry, sir. It's time."

Normally he would have been angry, but simply nodded and waved him out. When the door closed, he shifted back down and looked at the sleeping woman. He would do anything to save her, had laid and begged Snoke, but he wouldn't budge. Not for the last Jedi. She was too valuable an icon to let live, even under Kylo's care.

Her body stretched against his and her eyelids fluttered open, "I love you." He couldn't contain the words, knowing he had never said them to her - but needing her to know it.

Rey smiled at him softly, the way she had so many times before when they woke up, and raised a hand to touch his face. Her thumb moved slowly across his cheek and his eyes were locked on hers, savoring every moment.

"I know."

* * *

Kylo stood next to Snoke, his right hand for all the galaxy to see. Master of the Knights of Ren. What a useless title, useless power, he thought bitterly.

All four leaders of the Resistance were chained to poles as they stood looking out at the crowd of Stormtroopers, Snoke and Kylo standing to one side. The opposite of where Rey was, so he could barely see her. His fists clenched, knowing it was Snoke's doing. A final turn of the knife.

Kylo listened to Snoke drone on in his speech for the troopers and the holonet as the galaxy watched the First Order confirm their rule over the galaxy. He spoke with righteousness and fervor and Kylo realized that normally this would have been done by Hux, Snoke would never have normally let himself be so vulnerable.

He was also distracted, and while Kylo's mind was not a safe place, he _could_ hide things. His clenched fist moved slowly to his lightsaber and he shifted his body slightly backwards. Snoke went quiet for a moment and looked at Kylo, who stared impassively towards the crowd, silently pleading he was right.

But when Snoke continued, his body relaxed and sought Rey's face once more. She was staring right at him, face firm. She nodded.

At that, in one full motion, Kylo grabbed his lightsaber and turned to ignite it in one graceful motion, a red light blasting through his chest and chair.

His master's face was one of surprise before he slumped over. Kylo's chest heaved as the tension rolled out of his body.

"BEN!" He heard Rey scream his name and it tore him out of his shock to see the stormtroopers descending upon the stage, marching towards him. The reality of him killing his master - the Supreme Leader - in front of the entire army, hit him in that moment. He cursed and moved his hand towards the prisoners, causing their bindings to unlock. They had no weapons, but immediately started fighting their way back into the room behind them.

Kylo was locked in a fight with one of the executioners and he saw Phasma coming as well, her armor unmistakable. Blaster shots went off around him and it was all he could do to block them with his lightsaber, barely having the mental energy to use the Force at the moment - where once it was like breathing. He looked around and saw Rey shoving the oncoming stormtroopers back with the Force while the others pried open the door to the ship.

Perhaps they would get lucky and find an escape pod nearby, FN-2187 might remember; Kylo knew little about those things. As he fought off Phasma's squad, he heard his name shouted once more and turned just in time to see Rey blocking him from a rogue blaster bolt from the crowd, hitting her in the stomach. He cried out as she collapsed and their bond was weakening.

"Poe! Finn! Help her." The door opened as he shouted at them and saw them scrambling to drag her weak body inside. He turned back to Phasma with a snarl on his face again.

"You'll pay for what you did, to both Hux _and_ the Supreme Leader."

Kylo let out a rough laugh, cutting down an oncoming soldier on his right, "The galaxy will have to exist without a dictator for once, I guess."

He pushed them back with the Force, but knew it was only a matter of time - he was being surrounded and raced towards the door that was closing, that held a hopefully healing Rey.

As he turned his back, Phasma recovered long enough to fire two shots at him. One hit him square in the back, the other in his leg and he collapsed onto the ground in agony. Arms came around him, ones he recognized as FN-2187's, and they helped him towards the blaster door in a cruel mimic of Rey.

He focused his mind using the pain, trying to fuel what he'd have to do with the Force as he crawled towards Rey's body.

"There's an escape pod nearby, we can make it if we leave now." Finn's voice hit him and he nodded.

"I need…a moment," he gasped as he cradled her to his chest. Force healing had never come naturally to him the way it had for her, but every aching pain he felt for her fueled the need and he poured it into her. She sputtered a little, her eyes opening.

"This is what is meant to be, Ben," she raised a hand and caressed his face as she had hours earlier. Coughing, she looked at Poe and Finn and Rose, "You need to leave. If you go now, the Resistance will survive. I can't go with you."

There was arguing back and forth for far too long before finally Kylo put an end to it, that he would take Rey home when the healing was complete. There _was_ a new Supreme Leader, even if they had just tried to kill him.

When they reluctantly left, it was just Kylo and Rey inside the metal room. His back was bloodied and his coughs spit out blood, but he could only look at her eyes and clench her hands.

"I thought we were ready to say goodbye," he said quietly. She gripped his hand tighter and smiled wanly.

"You can never really be ready for it, but this is where I'm meant to be, Ben. I feel it," she tugged him down to place a kiss on his cheek and forehead before staring at him. "I love you, no one can take that away from us. I'm so proud of you, Ben."

A sob left his throat at that, she knew how much he needed to hear it - that he had somehow done the right thing for once in his life. He clung to her, the one person who healed so much of his dark and broken soul, who saw him now as no longer a monster, but a man. Tears dripped onto her neck and smeared across on her face as they held each other.

He pulled away and looked at her, "In another life, things are going to work out for us." His voice was weak as blood oozed out of their wounds and her hand slipped out of his, neither able to grip it any longer.

"In another life, maybe," she whispered softly before her body convulsed and shuddered from the last breaths she would ever take. Kylo cried and hugged her body to his, all his rage gone. He had spent a lifetime being angry, and Rey deserved better than that. She deserved his love, his tears. He pulled her with him as he laid back on the floor, no longer any feeling in his legs, unable to move as he struggled to breathe, lungs filling with blood from the blaster wound.

He hoped the others made it safely, that Rey was right about all of it. The way she had been right about him.

"In another life," Ben whispered to himself as he finally, mercifully, died.

* * *

  ** _Thousands of years in the future, in a galaxy far far away…_**

Laughter echoed off the walls of the 21st floor as he stepped off the elevator and he turned his head to find the source; he wasn't expecting to feel such life in a place like this.

There were three people, two men and a woman, standing near reception and the woman was laughing - her eyes bright and mouth in a broad smile as the others told some story.

He stood and watched her, enraptured, a deep sense of _knowing_ crawled through him. He must have been standing there for far too long, because she turned to look at him as if sensing his eyes on her.

The laughter died a little, but the smile was still bright and filling him with hope. Her eyes held the same strange recognition, brows furrowing slightly in confusion.

"Sir? Can I help you?" The receptionist had finally come back, but his eyes still wouldn't move from the woman's. Ignoring the receptionist, he walked towards the smiling woman who also stepped ever so slightly away from her friends.

"Hi, I'm Ben Solo," he said softly, holding out his hand. He didn't know what had come over him, this was not like him at all.

"I'm Rey," she responded in awe, and as she touched his hand they both let out soft, ragged breaths.

_In another life, maybe._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, leave a comment if you did - it would mean the world to me =) Find me on tumblr @ http://reylosource.tumblr.com/


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